Sunday, April 10, 2016

It has been quite some time

Wow I can't believe reading my last blog has been 5 + years ago.  It's  disillusionaL and yet exhilarating to read back on my bog when I was trying.  To have a voice is key; and yet the reason why I strived to express myself.  I dont' know why I deny myself my voice.  I am here, yet I find myself questioning. WHY?  WTF?  We have the tools for modern day expression to be heard, and yet why should I even question?  I'm here and that's all that matters .

Tonight, one of those most important persons in my life was upset with me, and I'm not understanding why?  I love her to my most fullest, and yet I dont' know why she has rejected me?  I think it may be a perception of understanding, but yet I know she understands.  We are related by blood, DNA, what ever you want to call it, a spirsitual, evolutional, connection.  I always tell her, I wouldn't be able to validate my life without her.  She is my soulmate, my 1st cousin, my first encounter with another female that I choose to grow my life with, her name is Luana.  She is a most beautiful girl that has grown into a most beautiful woman that I will ever know.

I love her so much that I often confuse my daughter and her name so closely as one in the same.  I love her so much.  She is my cousin, and she is beautiful.  The world should know.  They've always known, Luana, means enjoyment, and she's exactly that.  I Love You Luana.


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